


January 2013 Kink-Bingo Mini-Challenge: Red Dwarf Edition

by Ilthit



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 02:05:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/629109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilthit/pseuds/Ilthit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>25 mini-fics, each 100 words or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	January 2013 Kink-Bingo Mini-Challenge: Red Dwarf Edition

1\. Gangbang (Lister/Low Selves)

Lister was always nervous around mindreaders. It wasn't that he had anything to be ashamed of, it was just that some things, like that recurring wank fantasy of being fucked by every one of the crew's lower selves in turns, could make things a little strained on board the Dwarf.

 

2\. Vanilla Kink (Lister/Kochanski)

Somewhere out there in the many universes Lister and Kochanski - Dave and Kristine - were having a perfectly ordinary suburban morning, with tea and scones, and little Bexley full of chatter about the footie last night. Later they'd drop the kids off at Great-Gran's for the morning and come back for a sweet little fuck between crispy sheets while their other selves, out there in space, fought and screamed and died.

 

3\. Sex Toys (non-penetrating) (Deb/Arlene)

Deb had gone through Arlene's toy box and noticed it was little heavy on the buttplugs and dildos. Since they'd somehow ended up fucking, Deb had every intention of introducing Arlene to a little thing called the clitoris. 

Arlene bucked and thrashed and bit on her own hand as Deb rolled the egg over her soft folds.

 

4\. Teasing (Lister/Rimmer)

"You can have it if you ask for it. That's all. Just ask." 

Rimmer never would, but Lister liked to watch him wanting, hovering right on the edge of surrender.

 

5\. Masters Doms Subs & Slaves (Low Lister/Low Rimmer)

Dave Lister was no-one's slave. It's just a game they played. So what if he liked to lose sometimes? Rimmer knew all about it. They both liked pain from either side.

If he'd been particularly naughty, Rimmer would bring out the holowhip and take him right to the edge, his heart racing faster than his mind, a breath of poison and cologne on his skin.

 

6\. Virginity/Celibacy (holo!Dave/Kochanski)

The AR machine was the only place where they could touch each other. That made this game doubly cruel.

"I can't take this much longer, Krissie," Dave moaned into her ear, his armoured glove pressing sharp into her abdomen. The candles in the royal tent flickered realistically.

"It's only until the end of the game," Krissie reminded him, even though she was wet and hot with want under her layers of medieval muslin and the cool steel chastity belt. "Once you win the tournament."

 

7\. Food (Lister/Rimmer)

Rimmer fought down the impulse to pull Lister off his bed, burn and replace the mattress and bedclothes, vacuum the entire sleeping pod and wash the walls until there was no more sign of mayonnaise or cheerios or noodles anywhere near it; to take Lister into the showers and spend a month's soap allowance to scrub his every cranny until he was squeaky clean; and then take him back to bed and pour a bowl of whipped cream on his crotch.

It would get everywhere, and he'd have to start all over again.

 

8\. Phonesex/Epistolary (Holly/Hilly)

Hilly had left a string of code in Holly's temp folder, a move that really should not have surprised him since he'd done the same to hers. He went through every filthy line with the pleasant knowledge that she'd be pouring over his bytes, too, just one brief jump to the left of this universe.

 

9\. Crossdressing (Lister/Rimmer)

You could find pretty much anything if you delved deep enough into the Dwarf. Rimmer had found the corset he'd worn on Lister's body that one time in a little lingerie shop on the mall level. Years later, they went back there together for some stockings.

 

10\. Exposure/Exhibitionism (Rimmer)

The women in their gold bikinis touched him and caressed him with professional hands as they slicked his body with oils - his detestable, pale, thin-armed body, which stood naked and stretched out against the pole, the last shred of him hidden under a flimsy piece of cloth. They would see him - he knew they would - they would all see him like that when they rushed in to save him.

 

11\. Writing on the Body (Kochanski/"Spanners" Lister)

There was a time she could never have asked him to do this, but after all these years Spanners knew her through and through and loved every bit of her, even the part that wanted to play the prim public school girl defaced by the soup machine repairman, and be taken hard in the engine room with "slut" and "bucket" scribbled in oil on her belly.

 

12\. Roleplay (Rimmer/Lister)

Sometimes when Lister is feeling bored he goes along with Rimmer's ideas about the order of the world, if only to see him freaked and pleased in turns as Lister salutes, calls him sir, wears regulation length trousers and keeps to steady mealtimes like a good little swabbie. He can never keep it up for long, though, and the pretense breaks down, usually culminating in either a food fight or reverse cowgirl on the captain's chair.

 

13\. Wildcard (Emotion Play)

It's easier for everybody if Lister just tunes Rimmer out when he's being particularly obnoxious, but in the end Lister's only human, and two can play that game. It's almost as if Rimmer likes it: to be played like an instrument, his shame plucked at until he's brimming over with it.

 

14\. Historical Roleplay (Lister/Rimmer)

"I can explain this," said Lister. Kochanski stood on the heaving AR deck of the man-of-war, her wide-open eyes taking in Rimmer tied to the mainmast with his arms out in front of him, the welts down his back, and the whip dangling loosely from Lister's hand. Taking off his cocked hat and hiding it behind his back probably didn't help, since that still left the Napoleonic sea captain's uniform with the missing breeches.

She lifted an eyebrow. "Try."

 

15\. Pegging/Strap-ons (unnamed cats)

The cat society was, of course, highly civilized. They didn't just give in to bestial urges. Besides, lady cats tended to be much of a size with gentleman cats and no-one really expected them to put up with spiky painful procreation sex, not when they could have the pleasure without the pain with a little ingenuous application of ancient alien technology found in a shop called tangy-scent-mixed-with-oil-and-sweat on one of the lower decks. Gentleman cats soon learned their place, and all was well.

 

16\. Shaving/Depilation (Kryten)

Kryten tried a number of things to make himself feel a little less horrified at his new, human body. It helped to move the way he used to, even though it was now more laborious; to perform his tasks; to pray for silicon heaven; and to shave off every single hair on his body. He used the medbay's laser to make a thorough job of it, becoming smooth and slippery once more, if not hard or angular. It was a process.

 

17\. Rough Body Play (Low Lister/Low Rimmer interpreted female)

Rimmer pressed her thumb into Lister's bruise right above his eye. Damn, but the hard light was strong, like steel pinning him down. Rimmer pulled her lips back in a snarl. Crazy bitch would pop his eye out without a thought if she had the inclination. Lister kicked at her crotch, scratched and bit and fought and laughed.

 

18\. Sleepy/Unconscious (Lister/Kochanski)

Krissie watched Dave sleep, worrying her lip as she contemplated his smooth, pretty form. For her he was pretty, fresh and compact and full of wonderful detail. She knew she could wake him with her hands and her mouth, bring him soft and slow out of sleep, his cock heavy in her mouth, the smell of him in her nostrils, and he'd groan and go with it. She wouldn't, because she'd been through the same consent and sexual harassment training as every other officer, but damn, did she like to think about it.

 

19\. Watersports (Rimmer)

In another universe Arnold Rimmer emerged from public school a nervous, wound-up young man and applied for service, hope of glory lost long ago but the need to keep trying nagging him on. The night before he was due to depart for his first service aboard a military miner he got drunk enough to walk into the specialist club across the street.

Long after the ship departed, Arnold lay in a soggy bed in the brothel, denigrated and stinking and drained, his wallet empty and his bow unstrung, happy for the first time since he'd been weaned.

 

20\. Collars (AU Lister/Kochanski)

Krissie had always been such a good girl. Always... except when she was bad. 

"Father," she breathed, and let her fingers brush Father Lister's dog collar. "Please," she added as she hooked a finger underneath it. 

Oh, the look on his face. 

 

21\. Genital Torture (unnamed cats)

Of course any civilized society will produce those for whom barbarism becomes a way to relax after ordinary days and nights spent in sophisticated pursuits. Those lady cats who liked the occasional traditional fuck were easy enough to distinguish by gait. The ultimate proof of civilization, in a roundabout way, could be said to arrive with the invention of spiked dildos.

 

22\. Fisting/Stretching (Lister/Rimmer, Lister/Kochanski, Lister/Lise Yates)

For Krissie it had been a pleasant surprise, though she'd declared it no dealbreaker either way. For Lise it had been a hurdle, but it worked out in the end. For Lister it was just his cock; he felt only mildly proud of it, since he'd done nothing for it and size counted for less than half of what it took to make a lover happy.

He did sometimes wonder what went on in Rimmer's head when he got that glazed look in his face, stretching his arse over Lister, hands always grasping tight on anything except his own crotch.

 

23\. Prostitution/Sex Work (Lister/customers, Lister/Rimmer)

Driving stolen hoppers was never going to make him enough money for a ticket home. Lister was young and supple even if he did have a face like an intoxicated squirrel. He knew Miss Kitty Pop from Section 6 and she hooked him up with one of the "Real Boys" places that were gaining popularity in the wake of high profile hodroid accidents. Within a week Lister was cleaner he'd ever been since leaving Gran's, and sucking more cock than he'd ever expected to. It was a living. 

Then one day that JMC bloke walked in "looking for a restaurant"...

 

24\. Animal Play (unnamed cats)

Sophistication was one thing, but many agreed that the limit had been reached and breached once the first "dog" joints opened in the engine side corner.

 

25\. Drugs/Aphrodisiacs (the boys from the Dwarf)

It must have been the third time they'd woken up on a strange planet covered in alien pollen and jizz, sore and grimy and sated. When grilled about the statistical probability of three different species of alien plantlife with aphrodisiac qualities extending to holograms as well as humans and cats appearing on three different planets, Holly could only mutter something about narrative causality before going back to writing his erotic novel.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [All In The Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560536) by [horselizard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/horselizard/pseuds/horselizard)




End file.
